The Importance of Fathers’ Mental Health: Helping Dads Show Up for Their Families
By Matthew Spencer, Senior Vice President of Clinical Quality and Compliance, GRAND Mental Health (Read Matt’s bio)
With Father’s Day approaching and Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month underway, I’ve been thinking a lot about fatherhood. In more than 15 years working in behavioral health, I’ve had the opportunity to work with children, parents and families through some difficult moments. I’ve witnessed just how much male role models shape the emotional health of a family, often without realizing it.
Many dads carry an incredible amount of pressure. They want to provide financially, be present for their kids, support their partners while keeping up with work demands and everyday life. Most take pride in being dependable and staying strong for everyone around them. But many men also feel they’re supposed to handle stress quietly and figure things out alone.
For a lot of fathers, talking openly about stress, anxiety or burnout doesn’t come naturally. Many were raised to believe that asking for help means something is wrong or that they should be able to “push through”. After working in mental health for many years, I can say that mindset keeps a lot of people from getting support when they need it most.
I understand that mindset myself. It took me a long time to realize that to help people to the best of my ability, I also needed to invest in my own well-being. For me, that included spending dedicated time with my wife and two sons, working out, reading, eating right, and talking with other mental health professionals when I needed guidance. Those things helped me be healthier personally and also helped me be more present for the people depending on me.
Caring for your mental health is a part of being a healthy father. Kids notice more than we think they do. As a dad, I know my sons are always watching. They notice how I react when things don’t go according to plan, whether I make time for family, whether I take care of myself and how I treat others; most fathers have probably had the same realization. Fathers do not have to be perfect, but when they show healthy ways to cope, talk openly about challenges and take care of themselves, it teaches their children that those things matter.
That doesn’t mean every father needs to completely change his life or have all the answers. Sometimes support looks like talking with a counselor, reconnecting with friends, spending more intentional family time, getting outside, exercising or simply admitting that you’re overwhelmed and need a break. Small changes and honest conversations make a difference.
I also think communities, workplaces and families can do more to make these conversations normal. Men are often encouraged to take care of everyone else first, but rarely reminded that their own well-being matters too. The more we create spaces where fathers can have real conversations without fear of judgment, the easier it is to ask for help before reaching crisis levels.
At GRAND Mental Health, we work every day to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and improve access to services across Oklahoma. Part of that work includes reminding men that prioritizing mental health is not weakness.
As Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us, fathers need support too. This Father’s Day, I encourage dads to give themselves the same grace and support they so freely offer their families. Taking care of your mental health isn’t a distraction from being a good father. It’s part of being one. The strongest thing a dad can do is continue showing up for the people he loves – and sometimes that means being willing to ask for support when he needs it.